


Crawl

by AsheTarasovich (natalieashe), Boffin1710



Series: Moments of Life in the Shadows [47]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Humanity, M/M, Queen & Country - Freeform, Relationship(s), The things we don't day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 22:29:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12714099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/AsheTarasovich, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/pseuds/Boffin1710





	Crawl

**Alec...**

The sofa is your space.  The garden is mine.  

Both are used daily, but if ever there is a need for comfort, we will gravitate to those places by default.  

A few weeks ago, a brutal 52 hour shift guiding three double O missions to their conclusion, you forget you are human at times.  Or you choose to ignore it.  Demanding more of yourself, pushing those all-too-human limits beyond reason.  You stumbled through the door, incoherent and eyes rolling, you slid down the wall and whimpered, pleading with me to let you go.  Let you find peace.

Wanker.  Drama queen.

You allowed me to pick you up and cradled in my arms we fell onto the sofa where you alternately slept, rambled, sobbed and swore for almost 24 hours.  Finally you sat up and said "Food!  I need food, Alec.  Something... eggy."

And just like that, we are restored.

Today it is my turn to crawl to you, literally.  Silently you found your spot on the garden sofa, allowed me to pace until I collapsed under the weight of alcohol and the horrors I pretend not to see.  An agent does his duty to Queen and Country, even if it is distasteful.  An agent follows his Quartermaster's direction, even if the decision is not one he would have made.

You understand this.  You don't feel guilty, but you are sorry that some of the things you ask of me do not sit easy.

So I crawl to you across the damp paving.  Curl on the floor at your feet and lay my head in your lap, eyes blank, unseeing.  Mind far away.  Your long fingers stroke across the new buzz cut, soft as peach fuzz or the velvet of cat's ears, and with your touch you offer your apology, ask for forgiveness.

And with every light caress, I give it.

**Q…**

I sit in the garden dampness, mist gently starting to fall. Gently…  a complete contrast to the raging going on here at the moments. Alec paces, snarls, rants and rails at anything and everything.   And I cannot make myself leave him alone out here in this frame of mind.  Will not.  

When I think about all that our days bring, watching him, I come to understand  that the world of the shadows that we reside in does not often give leave to understand we are human with emotions of our own. Does not even consider it.  Or even give a thought in regards to the things it asks of us and how it will have an effect on our stability.  It requires us to perform things that would scar the most deviant of a person.   We are expected to compartmentalize.  Move beyond it all and be ready, waiting for the next mission assignment.   
  
And yet...  It does fuck with us.  We are not the cold hearted robotic weapons I think they view us to be.  So we fall into the dependence of turning to our own kind to soothe the savage beast inside us.   
  
I look at Alec, James, and myself and see at times the insanity that could... would be unleashed on the world if we were not here for each other, to keep that insanity in check and at bay.   
  
You wanted weapons for Queen & Country.  Loyal lap dogs.   Well, you have them. But not such a lap dog, more of a rabid werewolf on a short frayed leash.     
  
I wonder sometimes just how long that beast can be  kept caged.


End file.
